Missed a hash? Catch up on all the trash here...
|F*ck Boxes Trail
(about 4 years ago)
Hares: Udder Whore, Blowbot
Bag car: Anal Disco
Pack: Seriously? Fine…
I Eat Teabags, Plus 2 Coonass, Easy To Please, Vagatarian, The Butler Hit it, Blubber Fucker, Yankee Pay $5 More, Pat My Fly, Just Laura, Just Pat (not from Rhode Island), Can’t Eat Pussy (from Rhode island), Just Pretzel?, E=I’m A Douche, JOLLY Green Vagania, Just Someone-else, Nice Tits, Hare Club, Sketchy Ho, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Harlot Globe Fondler, Pappy Van Tinckle, Mangia My Vagaina, Nubbin’ Luvin’, Chris Brown Eye, Cum Ear, Wikipedophilia, Dribbles, No Man On The Moon, Little Sister Fister, Skull Fucker, Twat My Mom, Maybe Others I Forgot, Virgin Short.
Pre-lube: Arriving unfortunately early, I had nothing other to do than to drink until the rest of pack arrived, and I did. Luckly (or unluckily) this happened pretty quickly. In a very interesting study in fluid-un-dynamics, the pack stayed very tightly bunched in one area directly in front of the bar. This practice of being lazy and not scouting the open area of the bar (or scouting in general) will reappear later. People kept c*ming – really, they did – and introductions, greetings, saluations, and beer were all had and passed around. Eventually bag car was called, and pack stayed still, because they couldn’t move. A few of us escaped out the back.
Yeah, we’ll say Blubber did something that might have resembled a circle. Mainly he insinuated that the virgin would see a lot of tits and dicks. One of these was truer than the other. Confused and wanting beer, we left.
Trail – Cardboard:
From circle behind Sligos trail went through a park where we surprised the locals and into some nice-ish looking neighborhood before turning and coming out on a semi-major street. Having no respect for traffic laws, we kind of stood in the cross-walk while a few people (Hare club, blubber, jolly) scouted – literally, the rest of pack stood around, creating a bit of a traffic jam. Eventually we found trail and ran off. This scene repeated itself at the next two checks, though I was very disappointed that by the time I got to a tit check on the bike path there was no one to free me. Continueing on we eventually found that we were in a gaint circle jerk back around to a song check in Davis Square. “Oh Sir Winston Do Not Touch Me” turned into a mass-organism before, again, no one scouted and I think Butler and Coonass finally found trail going past where we had the Sandy beer check. Fact: That is the only part I remember of that wonderful trail. Back to this trail where trail turned down a hill to a tit check and not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 harriets decided to follow their better virtues and not release us from our prision. Harlot had not such compuntions. Trail went back to the bike path and another song check – child friendly, Meet the Hashers – and again no one scouted, but we eventually found trail cutting back in some direction. There was another CTNOS* with T-Bags and I giving up scouting falses. While we were scouting we passed a couple out for a r*n (sex on trail!) and they asked if we were hashing, we were, and they joined us! Virgins on trail! It doesn’t go back! Luckily for them, we found trail straight, right, and mercifully to the Beer Check.
Beer Check U-Hual:
There was a U-Haul full of beer! That’s a lie! This isn’t DC! There was beer, though, so we drank. Goat showed up at some point. His big news is that Krusty is going to move in with him. So expect Watertown to be under lock-down until everyone is wearing disco-pants!
Trail Plastic Containers:
Leaving the BC we immidetialy happened upon another CTNOS and meandered around a corner to another. These were pretty much all the checks at this point. From this check we checked in most directions, and the wrong one twice before finding our way behind a school. Someone called out “Shots near” but no shots were found. Maybe they were? I think they were, and I missed them. I am a bad hasher. There was a song check (at which we caught up with the walkers) under a bridge and Harlot lead us in an amazing dity about all the days of the week. Some of pack had apparently blown throw (blow jobs on trail? There was the right ratio…) the shot checks and the song check, so CEP and I followed marks across a road. A car then, in blatent disregard for things like “Stop signs” or cross walks (which we were actually in!!) tried to run me over. Fool. I can dance with dump trucks on 2nd October Bridge, I’m not afraid of a Buick! Anyway, I was able to press “dual sky scrappers of freedom” to his window as he passed me by. Flustered, slightly, I ran up a hill, turned right, turned left, ran up another hill and found the front runners coming back from a CB12. Was Eagle a secret co-hare? Apparently trial then went right from the new check to the beer check in a park.
Beer check freight elevator:
The beer check was a roaving affair as we tried to keep our distance from houses on one side, kids playing soccer in the middle and families on the swing set. We chose the very subtle place of “right in the middle of the field.” Beer was consumed and conversations were had.
Trail Back trash bags:
Leaving the park to a check (that I scouted) trail went up hill, then turned right and down hill towards a fire station. With the doors open we sang about how much we loved our girl. One firefighter pocked his head out to look at us, but returned to whatever he was doing. Trail then ran down a slight incline and Harlot decided to finger my ass, apparently because I didn’t want to step on her too-small-to-be-considered-a-
Was crowded. I believe that Skull Fucker was trying to learn how to be an RA? How was she not called out for that? The hares were called in, and we sang to them that they laid a shitty trail. When we asked them to sing us a song, Udder whispered to blubber, while caressing her boobs “these haven’t been let out all night!” so pack willingly gave her permission to flash us instead of singing. Blowbot sang something, but that doesn’t really matter. We then called in FRB (BUTLER) and FBI (Snap Off) and DFL (Friar – who drank a screw?). We then moved onto freshmeat…er, virgins! Virgin the short girl was called in – and she’s about half the size of Chris Brown Eye, her sponsor – and then the two virgins who were found on trail joined her. The Short One did a very good job of imitating Spungebob having an orgasim, the guy found on trail is a gentleman and would help his Uncle Jack Off a horse, and the girl is a backwoods skier. None of them had ever heard of a “Dollar menu,” “all you can deet for under a dollar” or “buck-a-fuck.” They are definitely not worthy, but we will definitely take them anyway. After that blowbot was called in for wearing his shirt inside out – least we call him for rasict attire – so he and udder drank again. That was followed by backsliders – epic ones, including “The Tall Girl Whose Name I Should Know”, Nice Tits (?), and a lot of other people? It was crowded. Cum Ear sang them a great song about the S&M man castrating people. Not sure the relivance. Udder whore lost her cup at nerd, so she drank out of that (and blow bot drank again). Bald guys were called in? People who love dicks were called in? Kilted hashers? It was really crowded. I want to make up a story about someone doing something unbelievable on the floor…then we learned that Pat My Fly didn’t know what a pink taco was! We educated him. Then we learned that Dribbles didn’t know what a pearl necklace was, and her co-workers had to explain it to her! (Apparently she wore her pearl necklace shirt to work…) Old fahts, they’ll all forget tomorrow…Vessel went down, covers came off and we swang low.
On – WTF was with the boxes – On
*CTNOS = Check That No One Scouted
Next week: Wed 9/11: Cum Locker and Anal Avenger are haring. Apparently they are trustworthy?
Next weekend: Seacoast Red Dress Run, sign up with Seacoast (facebook/e-mail Cum Tities)
Next Sunday: E4B trail someehwere?
: Boston Invasion of Montreal (War of 1812 part 2), Talk to Twat/Brokeback to join the invasion (it’s another Red Dress)
: Pearl Necklace weekend! Beer mile! Pearl necklace! Fatboy!
October 19th: AGM
WE NEED HARES FOR 9/18, 10/9, and 10/16
|Summer BBQ Hash
(about 4 years ago)
What: Boston Hash House Harriers Summer BBQ
Where: Dorchester (various locations therein)
Trail: Brokeback Baby
Host: Condom Search and Rescue
Mismangament in Attendence: Hare Club for Queers, Oink Oink
Ohh, Blubber Fucker, Wikipedophilia
Pack/Everyone else: Plus 2 Coonass, Snap Off, Swedish Eagle,
Just Theresa, Just Carly, Just Marline*, Just French Guy*, Virgin Patrick, Hoover
McSuck n Fuck, Takes it in the Assburger, Cums Alone, ALL the cocks, Pat My
Fly, Friar Fuck, Visitor From Phillidephila, Other visitor (who was at GAP), Better
Late Than Pregegnant, Iggnorance is Piss, Perice my Souraus, No Man On the Moon, Beat By A Girl, Just Luara, The Butler Hit It, Titney
Spewston, Takes it in the Rectory, Udder Whore, Chris Brown Eye, Hipsterectomy,
Anal Disco, Vagaterian, Neighbors Who Provided the Dance Party, Mult-colored
chalk, others I am forgetting.
If you were dumb enough to run the Ball Buster trail
(Swedish Eagle, ALL the cocks, Snap off), that trails first beer check was at
Dot Ave Tavern, the start of the normal BH3 trail. Apparently the ball buster
trail ran past a lot of cops and a stolen car that wasn’t theirs. Since it
hadn’t rained in two weeks, the marks from CPA and Yankees trail were still
visible, and there was the incoming ball buster marks, and the out going Bh3
marks. Needless to say, there were a lot of marks, but only one set were true.
After hanging out at Dot Ave for a while – 2 or 4 pitchers – the hare
disappeared, and giving him a few minutes cranium start, we set out after him.
The RA was lazy and used the same circle as the Yankee and CPA trail, with a
note to only follow green marks.
A pleasant job up hills in Dorchester:
Starting from the same circle, this trail went the other way
from CPA and Yankees, and those of us who followed trail never saw their marks
again. A few twists and turns later pack was halted by a tit check and until
Titney freed us. Trail crossed the street and ran through CPA and Yankees beer
check before turning up a very predictable CB up a very step hill. Trail turned
and went through a housing development, then up the same hill, but one block
over. The hash always run up hill. Pack got separated and we definitely didn’t
wait for every/anyone at the Group hug outside a school. It was a trail head
free zone, so Butler just kept going. I was quiet surprised at the amount of
cat calls I got for hashing in a kilt; the locals thought it was a dress. I
didn’t show them the error of their observation. Trail went, predictably, up
another hill and turned left to a BN and a beer check in a park. There was
beer, bag car, and the walkers.
Beer check in a park:
Was quiet pleasant. No one did
anything stupid, and no one played on the jungle gym. There was a black bag
full of PBRs. Eventually the Justs arrived and virgins arrived (apparently they
had followed old marks). And eventually the hare left.
Running down hill towards beer (ie, the trail with no
The hash ran down hill, not sure why. True trail went across
a road, then randomly crossed back over, and I was almost hit by a Vespa. I
will note that the reason I was almost hit was because one of the harriettes
distracted him. I guess that’s hashman like beaviour? Trail turned towards
savin hill station and even though everyone’s CB senses were screaming, we
followed trail into a dead end that was, indeed, a check back. Trail actually
went around the other side of the station, and Butler wishes he had jumped the
fence to find trail. From there trail turned back out to a tit check on dot ave
(thanks again Titney; the random stranger on a bike thanks you too!!!) and
eventually lead to a BN on a corner and true trail and on in going into a back
yard filled with hashers.
After a significant amount of time had passed, and beers
were had by all, Coonass started the Ball Buster circle, and everyone else
watched. Note that since this was a ball buster circle, there were bags of ice
to cool off on. This will become important later. The hare was called in first –
The 2nd Swedish Eagle, then the FRB/FBI/DFL (ie the entire pack),
and someone commented that Snap Off was in a rush, which turned into…Rushin’
Rushin’ bear. Roughly 24 verses later, Snapp off, ALL the cocks and Takes it in
the Assburger got off the ice. We toasted to G – he’s not dead, he’s lost on
trail – and ball buster circle ended.
Blubber then made one of the few good decisions of the
night, and decided to run the Boston H3 circle on the ice as well. Brokeback
graciously parked it on the ice, and tried to sing about how he likes to
fornicate. No one in Boston does, apparently, since we didn’t know the song.
Boston FRB/FBI and DFLs were called in, and I’ll just assume it was Swedish,
Snap Off and Friar. We sang them another
song, but they weren’t iced for long. Our virgin was called in and demented by
Iggy on the ice. He wasn’t good at math, wouldn’t help his jack off, is single
but not jewish, and likes to ski the backwoods. Autowankers were called in –
Coonass and CSAR, and we sang “auto-wankers” to the tune of meet the hashers.
Back sliders were called in waves, the first – and solo – backslider going to
Little Sister Fister who won the designation of “Person who moved closer to
Boston and then hashed less!” Other long term backsliders included Ignorance is
Piss, Hoover, Cums alone and Pat My Fly. There was an honorary down-down to
anyone who had gone above and beyond and hashed at hot mess, yankee and cpa,
taste the rainblow, moon agm, and gap. Our livers failed us on the ice, and I
was quiet numb by the time I got off the ice. There was a co-worker down-down
(Just Theresa, Just Carly, Better late than pregnant and I), and luckily we
were told we were stupid instead of being asked about how we used to work in
Chicago. The ice at this point was quickly turning into chunks of ice in mud.
Before the ice disappeared completely, two justs were called in – Just Marni
and Just The French Guy. Firstly, Just marney has been to 6 hashes and brought
a total of 9 virgings! 69! Yeah! A few names were nominated, but who cares.
From now on, Just Marney will be known as “The Heyman Manouver.” May her liver
forgive her. The French Guy – who we learned is a wicked smaht kid and went to
Hahvahd, had taken his time to explore the American female, so Good Will
Cunting was suggested, but quickly thrown out. For reasons mainly to do with
his accent, and that he is French, he will now be known, wherever he hashes
around the world, as “Wicked Pisour” he’s French, so his liver was born ready.
Circle did continue, miraculously, after that, and Friar showed up as the real
DFL. Circle finally ended when all of the ice had melted and there was only
BBQ: There was a lot of meat, and some very spicy, but delicious,
kebabs (thanks to our kitchen b*tches Hipstectomy, Brokeback Baby, CSAR an Hair
club), and more beer was drunk. The neighbors, sensing our good mood, started a
dance party on the second floor that we grooved to outside.
On After/Pub crawl:
The first stop on the pub crawl was back to where it all
began – Dot ave tavern. There was beer, pitchers full of it appearing magically
in Douche’s hands, and then it was poured into mugs, and then into mouths.
After only a few minutes Coonass and Blubber walked around counting and we knew
that RAGE was about to happen. Jagerbombs had been purchased for the entire
pack. That happened. We kept drinking. Sometime later, my sense of time and
memory are getting fuzzy, we left. We walked down the street to Tom English’s,
but I remember feel a definite sense of confusion about the walk. Why were we
leaving and where are we going? The beer improved at Tom English – Harpoon IPA –
but it kept flowing and was still free. Always trying to one up Blubber, Eagle
purchased a round of Sambuka for unsuspecting hashers – myself included – and that’s
pretty much were my memory ends. Other things did happen. I messed up pronoun
for Anal and had to have another shot. More beer. More shots. The next thing I remember
is walking home.
On – free beer not free shots – On
Anoucments: Trail Wednesday at Great Scott (Harvard Ave stop
on the B-Line)
WE NEED HARES FOR 9/4
Montreal Red Dress Run Invasion: 9/20-22:
9/27: Cummbridge Communitry College H3 Beer Mile
9/28: Pearl Necklace, 13 miles, 13 beers!
9/29: 2nd Anal Pearl Necklace Fatboy By Wiki
AGM: (More free beer!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
|Taste the Rainbow Hash
(over 4 years ago)
What: Taste the Rainbow
Where: Kelly’s Pub, Eastie
Hares: Blubber Fucker, Senor Cocksucker, Swedish Eagle
Bag Car: Cerified Poop Accuntant
Pack: Just Tall Blubber, Chris Brown Eye*, Bring Out the
Gimp, The Butler Hit It, Willy Wanka and the Backdoor Factory, Twat My Mom, Just
Lauran, Pigfucker, Vistor From Orlando, Schindler’s Fist, Placentos the Fresh
Maker**, I Licked Butts, Spunk in the Trunk, Clit Notes, Wikipedophilia, maybe
Start: Was at a nice bar, for Eastie. We didn’t look all
that out of place, and they had a decent enough beer selection. The hares were
a bit late in leaving, but after a quick circle to explain our marks to the
visitors, we were on our way.
After being a bit confused at the start, we found trail
running towards the airport and eventually hit a CB something over a pedestrian
bridge over the entrance to the Calahan tunnel. The bridge kinda shook under
the weight of the running pack, perhaps someone should tell Massport? Piggy
left trail to have a drink with a random coworker he saw at a bar, and we ran
to a song check. Piggy rejoined us, and sang a wonderful song that I forgot.
Trail then ran up hill (but pack went scouting downhill) and I think I was
catcalled for wearing a kilt. Turning up another hill, and passing behind a
school, we found the first shot check.
Yellow shots: There were a half dozen or so stashed Gatorade
bottles with a yellow liquid in them that tasted like something, however, there
were also a few abandoned alcohol bottles not from that hash that we did not
Running down from the shot check, trail turned through a
back alley where we found a check that Piggy had very thoroughly scouted and
true trail was marked to a playground with mosaic benches, and pink shots.
Pink shots: After drinking liberally of the yellow shots,
some of pack began to come to their senses and drank more of the pink stuff,
others, feeling weak and unhashman like, fainned particication and wandered off
to find trail
The unhashman like scouts found marks that lead to a group
hug, and without waiting for the drinkers, ran on. Luckily they ran out a
two-and-nothing into a housing complex of sorts when true trail went straight
up hill, silly hashers! Trail turned and ran around a school to white shots.
White shots: Tasted very sweet and very strong. Pack
gathered and immidetiely there was a Turkey/Eagled. Eagle trail went through a
fence, down a steep hill, over another fence, then hit a CB6, before running
down a beach and rejoining the turkeys near the first beer check.
Was on the beach behind the hill where there was a Pearl
Necklace BC a few years ago. Apparently, the walkers had almost snared the
hares, since the true distance was just under a mile. Champagne (of beers) was
provided and we waited for everyone to catch up. Once it became dark and
everyone nearly passed out from the stench of the East Boston Channel, we left.
From the beer check, we ran through Eastie and an n-way intersection
( maybe 7 or 8 roads meeting, seriously, who planned this city!!), and ran into
bag car buying KEYSTONE LIGHT for
circle. Piggy told her that he would gladly buy us good beer, but she drove off
saying something about “It’s the beer you deserve” and “I need to get food.”
Trail continued on down whatever main street there is in Eastie that runs parallel
to the Blueline, and a few wankers followed a YBF into some random rundown T
stop. Trail zigged off the main road for a bit, and hit a shot check in a park.
Purple shots: By this point the shots were beginning to
catch up with the pack and we discussed the widely varying quality of them.
Some were quiet nice, others were undrinkable cough-syrup. The purple ones were
Next Color Trail: Stayed off the main drag, ran past some
churches and behind a burger king to the next shot check. I didn’t note the
color, but pack stayed for a while to wait for everyone from the purple check,
and to drink whatever horrible liquid was on offer.
Trail returned to whatever that main road was, and ran
pretty much straight along it until we got to a song check in front Iggy’s
house. We sang long and loud and jumped up and down. No one came out. Butler
investigated and found the door locked, but open, with no one home? We
continued. Trail continued down the road until we crossed over the Blueline at
Orrient Heights and ran along the beach to the long await BN in the sand. At
the end of the beach, were hares, pizza, and beer. ON IN.
Before circle, or even beer, could happen, we had to wait
for the mall-cop at the school/rec center/park/whatever to leave. He did, and
we drank. Pizza was there so we ate before circle. Twat RA’d, but when we
started singing to the hares, we formed a shape that was definetly –not- a
circle. Ameba maybe? Who knows, however, it was formed around a very
unfortunant ikea lamp that Piggy found on trail. There were no virgins, so we
moved right onto FRB/FBI/DFLs who were people that I don’t remember? Gimp, I
think, for the first time ever? Everyone’s a virgin at some point…Spunk was
DFL? Visitors were called in and both sang great songs. Piggy and Fisty were
called in for being naked. Chris Bown Eye was all of a sudden naked (or close
to) as well, and started humping the lamp. Maybe he was pole dancing on it, but
either way it could not bear the same and honorably killed itself by falling
apart under his gyrations. After a brief discussion, it was decided that Chris
Brown Eye, while a great Moon name, would have to be supplanted. Chris Brown
Eye will now be known as Lovea Lamp. We then sang him “Old McDonalds” to wash
away his shame with beer. Things were getting cray, beer was running out, so we
put our beers down and swang low.
On – I feel bad for that lamp – On
FREE BEER THIS WEEKEND – Hash BBQ, see the website/FB event
Trail next week: Great Scott, Harvard Ave Stop on the B
Line, Hares Wiki and Jack
HARES NEEDED for 9/4
Register for Pearl Necklace:
|Boston Moon AGM Part 1
(over 4 years ago)
What: Boston Moon AGM part 1
Who: Your new BMH3 GMs, Invidick and Just Tasty
Bag car: The Crying Gay
Where: Tavern at the end of the world
Pack: A visitor from DC with 3 virgins, another virgin, Just
Tall Bubbler, Just Alex*, Mangia My Vagania, Harlot Globe Fondler, Vagatarian,
Blubber Fucker, The Guy Who Had Balls Drawn On His Head (note, not his name,
but I forget it), Bring out the Gimp, Twat My Mom, Yankee Pay $5 More, Spunk in
the Trunk, Sweedish Eagle, Senior Cocksucker, Little Black Cock in my Pocket,
Salami, other people I am forgetting.
Started behind the TatEotW, and ran over some abandon train
tracks. Gimp yelled “train!” and I looked. He mocked me. Trail then crossed
over actual train tracks and we scrambled up the slope to Sullivan station. The
FRBs and pack were separated by a “traffic light check” that even I didn’t want
to cross, and then ran straight past a building under construction to a
baseball field which we crossed following definitely maybe marks that definitely
disappeared. True trail was quickly found and lead to a Jello Shot check. The
jello shots were not really jello as such, but rather goey blobs of alcohol. The
pack devoured them. Trail from there ran on past some warehouses to more
abandoned train tracks. The scribe zenned, but was on trail when Sweedish
randomly jumped over a 10 foot fence and took off straight ahead. I just kept
running. Shortly there was a BN followed directly by a Song check (we had been
told in circle that pack must wait at
a song check for everyone to catch up; I know f*ck rules) but we waited. The
check was also right in front of an idling truck of electrians who seemed amused
by our presence, and our song. Eventually everyone showed up and we ran to the
Beer Check 1: There was beer. About 10 minutes into the
check, we saw a beautiful lady running in full stride down the trail towards
the beer. Seeing quickly that it was ALL the cocks, the male hashers lined up
to show her what she loves seeing best. Eventually beer was drunk and hares
were gay. Pack followed.
I ran down the road towards a park with a trash bag with the
empties, and pack followed for no apparent reason. Trail was marked going the
other way on the other side of the street. Turning around and catching up with
pack we hit the Turkey/Eagle split, and since there were promises of shiggy and
“trail head check” on the Eagle, the kool kidz took the Eagle. The trail heads
check was lame; we ran past a house addressed 420, but the shiggy was fun and
steep. Trail caught up with the turkeys on the downhill, at a song check, and
we were happily waiting and singing about jesus when “Kumbiya” was called and
we scattered down the hill. Trail meandered through Charlestown and we finally
came upon the “HSC” human sit-a-pede check (you remember these from your
leadership challenge courses in highschool – everyone sits in a circle with the
weight evenly distributed) however there was an very disappointing male/female
ratio for this challenge, so we sat, shifted, smiled, sang, and left, running
towards the beer. Bag car was spotted not too far away and we humped it with
our beer and bags into Boston’s Secret Dog Park for circle.
After pack arrived, the beer was deposited and the hares…disappeared?
Really. They did. So we started circle with virgins and moon virgins. It was a
bit of a cluster fuck, but basically all the virgins got on their knees and
since there were more virgins than sponsors, moon virgins were called in as
proxy sponsors. Or so the plan went. Harlot ended up sponsoring two virgins –
not sure how – spunk sponsor another, and the rest acted out their favourite
cartoon characters having sex. They were definitely not acceptable, but we took
them anyway! Finally the hares showed up smelling like, well, Butler, and we
sang “Drink a little bit…” They might have sung us a song, maybe not? Circle
was beginning to get drunk. I was called in and did a shotgun – not quiet sure
why. And I think at one point, everyone had been called in. Mexicans were
called in. Kilted hashers. GMs, former GMs, future GMs, RAs, pretty much
everyone we could think of. By the time we were really drunk, Just Alex was
called in circle to be named. Not sure why. Not sure how he was named “Chris
Brown Eye” but he was. In a conversation after, the hash decided it was because
either he headbutted a hooker, or because he tounge-raped someone? Who knows. He
will now be known as Chris Brown Eye at all Moon hashes. Other kennels can (and
wil, stay tuned!) name him. At this point there were 6 beers left so we called
in 6 random people to do shotguns, before trying to start religion. We got out
the first verse of “I met a whore in a park one day…” and then circle ended.
On After was the original Pub 99.
Who knows what happened there.
On – there’s still another half to moon AGM next month – On
FREE BEER THIS WEEKEND: BH3 summer BBQ; trail starting at
from Dot Ave Tavern, there will be a trail, a BBQ, and a pub crawl. Details are on the calander.
Wed 8/28: Boston Hash at Great Scott in Alston, hared by
Wiki and Necrophiliak Jack.
Wed 9/4: WE NEED HARES
: Pearl necklace!!
|The “Not a Repeat of Last Years” Trail
(over 4 years ago)
What: The “Not a Repeat of Last Years” Trail
Where: Dot. Ave Tavern
Hares: Yankee Pay $5 More, Certified Poop Accuntant
Who: Just Tim, Just Laura(n), Just Carly, Just
Who-Brought-A-Virgin, The Virgin, Bring Out the Gimp, The Butler Hit It,
Blowbot, Pappy Van Tinkle Doucheland, Mangia My Vagiana, Wikipedophila, Blubber
Fucker, random people form the bar.
Start: The pack arrive between well before HST and well
after HST and the hares didn’t really seem to care. At one point, after not
seeing them for a while, we assumed they were gay. They were not. They had been
out getting cancer. They told us “We aren’t gay, have another beer!” So we had
another beer. Eventually…
Trail (the part with no check backs):
Circle was held at
the first check, and the virgin was introduced. Note, some guy in my office
just yelled “There has to be cocaine in this somewhere! They wouldn’t have
mailed it here without!” Anyway…we left running after the hares through
Dorchester. There was a tit check and a false down an industrial park with
trail running towards a Dunkins. After a song check, a check back 8 (thanks
Doucheland), pack ran through traffic and around a park to a very familiar
looking beer check.
Beer check: Mostly we drank Bud Light and wondered where Fixed
Queer is. Was he a secret co-hare? No? Okay. More beer. No conversations were
of note to write down, unfortunately.
Trail (the park with all the check backs):
Starting from the beer check there was a check back 8, and
trail ran back towards some major road. At another tit check (what pack would
have done without mangia, I do not know), we ran the wrong direction twice,
before finding trail through a parking lot and turning down some other random
street. After another check back (6), trail rain under around and through the
bowls of the JFK/UMass station and back across some road. Again, there was a
check back, and Mangia freed us to find trail. After hitting a check back 13
and a check near a park, we turned to a back alley to the whiskey check.
Frisky Whiskey Check:
The point of this check was to drink an entire bottle of
something that might bear some resemblance to whiskey, but even that it doubt
full. Basically everyone got very drunk very fast, including Doucheland, Just
Tim, Just Tall Blubber, and Just Luara (with the quote “I’m going to
deep-throat this bottle”). Just Tall Blubber then found some “sealed brown
boxes” hoping for cocaine (see above) but finding instead neon-yellow safety
ninja belts, we donned these and finished the whiskey. After a brief bit of
trail heads, pack left.
Trail (seriously, everyone else got lost):
Trail rain straight to what was an extremely obvious Check
back 20, and I turned and ran back towards Dot Tavern – which was in sight of
the corner. Apparently, pack followed Gimp and Blubber (bad idea!!!), ran out
the Check Back 20, then zenned around, and eventually came back about 10
No one was in any rush to circle up after that trail, and
pizza was delivered shortly after the pitchers. Drinking and eating ensued, and
the locals never really quiet understood what we were about. For no apparent
reason, I ignored them, though it is my belief that they were key players in
what made this trail so good.
Eventually Mangia started circle while Blubber was … away …
before he took it over. We sang to the hares, and told them to use more flour
and chalk. FRBs, (Wiki!!), FBI (Just Lauren), DFL (Mangia) and various others
were called in. The virgin was called in and CPA demented him, I think we took
him? Who knows, I through beer on him. The floor was opened to accusations;
kilted hashers, bald hashers, rasicsts, same shirts; we had a lot of beer to
drink through. People who had not been accused were called in, people who had
not made accusations were called in. Drinking happened. Eventually a local put
on the entire Mettalica Discography and we blessedly ended circle.
More drinking happened.
On – where’s fixed queer? – On
Trail next week in Eastie; check the calander.
GAP this weekend, and E4B on Sunday in Arlington
Sign up for Pearl Necklace on :
Hash BBQ (Free beer!!!) Next weekend (August 24th) will –not-* be this exact
same trail but with different food and free beer.
*This is a lie.