Boston
Hash House Harriers

a drinking club with a running problem

Hash Trash

Missed a hash? Catch up on all the trash here...

| AGM Weekend | Boston Moon Trail #110 | Epic Hashing Weekend | Angry Birds Hash | Hot Tub Redneck Hash |

AGM Weekend (over 6 years ago)
There are a lot of good combinations out there: Peanut butter and dark chocolate, cake and ice cream, pizza and beer, scribing and beer ...

Wait, wrong combo. Actually, it can be a pretty entertaining mix, but in this case the beer was a detriment. Yes, it's taken this long to decipher the drunken scribbles in the scribing notebook, a sure sign of just how AMAZING a celebration this past AGM was. So, without further ado, here is your AGM weekend hash trash!

Halloween Themed AGM 10/29/11
Hares: Outgoing GMs THE 2nd Cumming and Dirty Latte Sanchez
Bag car: ummm...
RA: Twat My Mom
Dementress: Yellow Dick Gnome
Hash Cash: Hare Club for Queers
Scribe: Oink Oink
Pre-Lube: Beacon Hill Pub
Pack: About 50 Boston wankers and visitors!

Trail:
It was a cold and rainy day (a snowstorm was looming!) when costumed hashers from far and wide made their way to the Beacon Hill Pub to meet up for what was promised to be an amazing trail from outgoing GMs 2nd and Latte. Trail wound about MGH and through the appropriately named "Beacon Hill" area where the pack's collective quads screamed for a long downhill path. We came upon Boston Common and the Public Gardens, but at this point the pack was already lost and zenning to pick up marks as we were desperate for beer or - there it was! Along the esplanade near the Hatch shell stage was a glorious shot check; your pick of red drink or blue drink with gusty winds and rain pelting your face.

The pack took off quickly after the shot check on account of the rain and all, and crossed over Storrow Drive towards the hoity-toity Back Bay area. Soon they were scaring rich residents and pretend rich shoppers along Newbury Street. After meandering around Boylston Street for a while, the second beer check was discovered! Slightly shielded from the rain and wind, (or hardly at all...), underneath a Mass Pike bridge.

The pack didn't stay long at the check. We all knew where we were going to wind up. About a half mile up the road was Ramrod and the hash and Ramrod have a deep, meaningful, mutual love for each other. We barreled into the On-In for the warmth, the beer, and our dinner.

Circle (which the scribe tried to keep notes on... silly scribe):
Twat took the mic and called up our outgoing GMs, THE 2nd Cumming and Dirty Latte Sanchez. We knew that these two LOVE the ice so we sang as many songs as we could to prolong their joy! The pack serenaded the two of them with Chicago and S&M Man. They then witnessed a de-virginizing (yes, there was a virgin at AGM!), and the calling out of the FRB (Douche), FBI (Jello), and DFL (Buttler). Hare Club took the mic (while they were still on the ice), and read the names of ALL the past Boston Hash GMs and the dates they signed the Sword. Those present made their way to the circle and sang More Beer all the way up to the number 34! Zoopada Zoopada was sung to keep those GM asses nice and cool, they signed the sword, drank from the shoe, and FINALLY they were released from the ice, their duties as hash GMs complete.

Incoming GMs Goat Throat and Sketchy Ho took their places on the ice while Velvet Pelvis gave some sort of speech, and then we sang them Yogi Bear and When it's Hog Calling Time in Nebraska! Outgoing RAs Twat and Bend Over Mommy listened to us croon Yo Ho, and incoming RAs Krusty the Meatmiser and 2nd had to suffer through Gangbang.


Other ice block sitters:
-Outgoing Hash Cash: Hare Club, High Anus, and Spunk in the Trunk (sang There Was a Little Bird...)
-Incoming Hash Cash: same as above!
-Outgoing Haberdashers: Mexican Humping Queen, My Chemical Homance
-Incoming Haberdashers: Willy Wonka and the Back Door Factory, Mexican, and Homance (sang Wiener breath)
-Outgoing Hareraiser: Goat
-Incoming Hareraisers: Senor Cocksucker and Twat
-Outgoing Scribe: Goes Down on Buoys (sang Some Die of Masturbation)
-Incoming Scribe: Oink Oink Ohhhhhh
-Outgoing Beer Bitch: The Buttler Hit It (sang You're #1)
-Incoming Beer Bitches: Buttler, I Lick Butts
-Outgoing Dementress: Cum Locker and Yellow Dick Gnome (sang Shitonya)
-Incoming Dementer/tress: Certified Poop Accuntant and Clit Notes (sang Put Your Left Tit)
-Outgoing Holiday Party: Bondage Barbie and Mexican
-Incoming Holiday Party: Just Victoria and Miami Slut Machine
-Marathon Chairs: Twat and Gimp
-Outgoing Hash Hos: Spunk, Bondage Barbie, and 2nd (sang Follow the Hares)
-Incoming Hash Hos: Twat and 2nd (sang Glorious Victorious)
-Songmeister: Velvet Pelvis and Piss Stop (sang He's the Meanest)
-Alcohol Abuse: Pierce My Saur-ass, Goat, Coochie, and Buttler
-New hasher badges: Front Running Bork Bork Bork, Senor Cocksucker, Clit Notes, Oink Oink Ohhhhhh, Jello Wrecked 'Em, Balls Deep, and Pierce My Saur-ass.
-Visitors: Rainbow Fuckin' Brite and Face Down (sang Face Down Ass Up)

Announcements:
-Sign up and pay for Marathon!! Only $49 until November 20th! bostonhash.com!
-See 2nd Cumming for information on how to get your very own Boston Hash mug!! Complete with your name carved and painted.

Then hashers split off for more drink, chatting, and of course, strippy cup. The hash isn't complete without strippy cup.



AGM Fatboy 10/30/11
Hares: Incoming GMs Goat Throat and Sketchy Ho
Bag car: None, this was a fat boy trail!
Brunch Pre-Lube: Club Cafe (11:30 am)
Trail Pre-Lube: Clery's (1:30)


To be honest, this scribe drank way too much. I didn't make it to the Fat Boy trail because my liver was still screaming at me from the debauchery the night before. I think the pack eventually appeared at Hong Kong, an excellent choice.

But you can help write this hash trash! Comment on this post and let everyone know what happened! You know you want to.


Don't forget to check out bostonhash.com and @bostonhash for all your Boston H3 information and news!!

ON-I don't know how my liver will survive another year-ON
Oink
Boston Moon Trail #110 (over 6 years ago)
Here it is! An actual trash from not only someone that was present at the last moon trail, but from a hare herself!! Holy hell fire shit, tell us about it Balls Deep!!!


Boston Moon - Trail 110
Hunter's Moon - 10/14/2011
Hares: Balls Deep and Dildo Vajayjay Baggins
Bag Car: Friar F*ck
Trash writer: Balls Deep
Edited by: Oink Oink Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It was a dark and rainy Friday night. The hashers creeped and crawled their ways to the White Horse Tavern for a pre-lube experience. Balls Deep arrives hashinably late but is greeted with smiles and orgasms by several other wankers. We enjoy a beer... and another beer... slowly realizing that the co-hare, dildo vajayjay baggins, is nowhere to be seen. "Why are we waiting? We could be......" He finally arrives around an hour late... still hashmanlike behavior. Hares away.

Disclaimer: the events of trail are mearly a speculation as the trash is being written by the hare. Any inaccuracies.. and accuracies are purely coincidental and do not reflect any actual stories.

We followed trail through the ghetto shiggy of Lower Allston, grabbed a slice of pizza at Regina's, over the pike, through the houses, and we came (oh yes we came) upon an illuminated statue of Jesus. The hash sang their praises; can I get a Hail Mary? Then ON-ON we went. Shortly thereafter we played at the playground of some higher learning establishment. OH NO - a fence! The plight (or joy!) of moon hashers. The first over-achieving wankers scaled the fence while the slower and wiser hashers realized there was a hole in the fence. Oh Glorious hole! Around the corner, past the Dunkin Donuts, and all of a sudden the pack was stonewalled... literally a stone wall. Easily scaled by said over-achieving wankers to find the golden brew for the first BC in Franklin Park.

Introductions were had since the rain had subsided. Those stupid idiots who came included the aforementioned hares Balls Deep and Dildo Vajayjay Baggins, The hasher from Rhode Island whose hash name I cannot remember, Stick it to the Bros, The Buttler Hit it, Friar F*ck, Chap Dick Charlie, Takes it in the @ssburger, Clit Notes, E=I'maDouche, Roscoe P. Cumstain, I Licked Butts, Yoron Weed, +2 Coonass, Pubic Service Announcement, Wikipediphilia, and Rogaine Sally. Rogaine brought with him a virgin: Virgin Mary. I'm not shitting you, and she was quite hashmanlike. We drank and we sang, the hares pounded their delicious PBRs and were away once again.

The hares scaled the outfield fence with the ease of gazelles, laying flour and chalk for the pack to follow. The trail took the pack past the CBS station with the giant satellite dishes. The hashers all turned into mutants. Not X-men like mutants, but like Teenage Mutant Ninja Hashers. The trail then went near the Shaws supermarket and around the construction, I swear it crossed Western Ave 69 times and then we came upon a check. Yes, trail can go in any direction including up... which it did - over the soldier's field road and into the park next to the Sweet Charles river - Can I get a Proud Mary??? Can I get a Count Back? Yes, count back and then the ON-IN at the Publik Theatre. We drank and we sang, we sang and we drank, it rained and rained some more. We spanked the virgin and she was a virgin no more.

FRB was Chap Dick Charlie due to his pre-cognative abilities, and because he helped BD scout trail... hey lower Alston can be scary at night. [That's not an FRB, that's a secret hare! Tricky Charlie!] FBI was Bros. DFL was +2 coonass. RAs were Dildo and BD. Accusations were made and many were called into the circle. I honestly can't remember who was accused of what or what comments were made cause I was pretty toasted - so much beer. All I remember is +2 wearing the disco tron ON-ON marquee shirt. Crazy honey badger.

On-After ended up being at Charlies in Harvard Square, where we finally dried off and thawed out over decent beer, warm food, and lots of humping.

ON-my-first-stab-at-writing-hash-trash-ON
Balls Deep
Epic Hashing Weekend (over 6 years ago)
This scribe got lost in that damned Danvers Corn Maze this week. I REFUSED to call 911 like those pansies though, (seriously, you can WALK THROUGH CORN "WALLS") so that's why this post is a tad late...


Hashers, there were three, count 'em, THREE opportunities to hash this past weekend! This only happens maybe once every six months: Full Moon Friday, 3rd An*l Pearl Necklace Saturday, and the good 'ol standby Sunday hash.

SO: Here's what you missed if you didn't hash at all this weekend. (...more virgins and beer for the rest of us!)


BMH3 #110 Friday 10/14/11
1) A rainy, cold moon hash that included locals and visitors from far and wide alike!
2) SO MUCH BEER at said moon hash.
3) Inaugural trail for new GMs Balls Deep and T Bags!
4) An hours late T Bags blaming traffic for his tardiness, but we really know he was working on his swag in the mirror to try to seduce harriettes later that evening...
5) It really cannot be stressed enough that there was SO MUCH BEER. This is why Moon trails are the best trails.


3rd An*l Pearl Necklace "Wicked Itch of the East" Saturday 10/15/11
Hares: There were a lot of them
Bag Car: There were a lot of them (or just one?)
Pack: About 45 unlucky wankers from near and far that were crazy enough to rego!
Visitors: Yoron, Harlot, Squatch, Roscoe ... and a lot of other people.

Trail:
Pre-lube started at Tavern on the Water. In case you were wondering, Tavern on the Water is in fact on the water, and no where near any T stop. Except one bus line. Who's idea was that? There was, however, a magnificent view of Boston to remind us all of the city we crisscross weekly. And most importantly, there was BEER.

After a quick chalk talk where were all discussed where one visiting hasher may end up after sufficiently drunk that evening, we went out to find trail. (Anyone know what actually happened to him?) The pack promptly got lost within the first five minutes. Tricky hares. The first leg led us to some glorious truck stops with Porno Mags galore! The first circle included some big butt beauties found on the pages of those magazines, and some very, VERY drunk hares. It ended when we ran out of beer. A sad sight to see.

The second leg of trail led us through Chelsea and East Boston for a beer check under Route 1, a terribly marked trail where this scribe got separated from the pack, got lost, and ultimately ended up stopping into Dunkin Donuts to refuel with a delicious hot latte. Not the Dirty Sanchez kind, sorry boys. Poor AB got injured and had to limp off to lay down and die... By the time the scribe caught up with the pack at the second circle in Belle Isle Marsh, the pack had picked up a spontaneous virgin!! Can you believe it? We are an attractive bunch; I guess she couldn't resist our charm. We also celebrated the completion of the 13 beer challenge by FRBBB, Maid of Honor, and someone else. They could barely stand.

Third leg of trail finally included some lunch, and found us drunkenly stumbling into Beachmont and Revere. Honestly, I don't really remember what happened, except that we r*n in a straight line for a very long time until we wound up at The Cove! Third circle and the celebration of the end of Pearl Necklace commenced. We renamed an out-of-town hasher from Burlington, VT. Her NEW name is Harlot Globe Fondler!


Hashers listen up! We named Just Kathryn! She will forever now be known at the hash as Tail Gagger! She also goes down in history as the fastest naming ever at the Boston Hash.


BH3 Sunday Trail #(figuring that out...) 10/16/11
"The Longest Fat Boy Trail EVER"
Hare: Wikiepedophelia
Bag car: Butler
RA: Nips
Sub-Dementress: Oink Oink
Scribe: Oink Oink
Pre-Lube: Punter's Pub
Pack: Roscoe, Nips, Assburger, Goat, Bros, Douche, Better Late then Pregnant, Dribbles, Just Dave, Just Frank, Sugar Hump Fairy, Just Brandon, Just Arjil, Pat My Fly, Just Mark, Just James, Oink Oink, and Virgin Liz!

Trail:
We all knew it was c*mming. A wonderful fatboy trail where we could drink beer while slowly moseying along. Wiki was dressed in jeans at the bar and he didn't even bring chalk or flour to mark trail and was begging for donations. And then Bros happened. Bros made a comment to Wiki that not everyone had been at Pearl Necklace the day before. Wiki felt compelled to give these lazy wankers a trail; he changed into appropriate clothing and took off.

The hare got lost. And so did the pack. A huge Mass Ave intersection left us completely blindsided and lost for 15 minutes. In fact, we trudged along for almost FOUR MILES before we found the first beer check in the Fens. Our favorite game Bag-O began! Pat got into the check just as we were leaving and had no beer to drink and no orange food to eat! About a mile after the first check the trail changed to cajun. Wiki was out of chalk and the pack was about to be on their own. After two miles we came upon a Shaw's Supermarket. Second check was in an alley behind it - chosen specifically so Wiki could buy flour to continue trail. You heard that right. We had now covered over six miles and Wiki was buying materials to continue trail. Fortunately, Wiki knew there would be a mutiny if he didn't mark trail and lead us to some beer soon. Flour was strewn all about the sidewalks - not in clumps - in lines so the pack couldn't get lost. And then it happened: We found the On-In exactly where we had left it. We staggered into Punter's Pub, an A-A "fat boy" trail complete.

Circle:
-Wiki got called into circle of course. Who sets a 7+ mile trail after a Pearl Necklace?
-Bros was called into circle for causing the 7+ mile trail
-Virgin Liz was called into circle and Oink tried her hardest to de-virginize properly. At least we got to witness the demonstration of her favorite sexual position!
-Overachievers were called in for attending all three trails: Assburger, Roscoe, Wiki, Bros, and Yoron
-Visitors: Yoron and Roscoe
-Sweat test failure: Cherry Poppin' Patty
-A few wankers stopped for food on trail: Yoron, Better Late, and Douche all stopped to eat! In the middle of trail!
-FBI: Dribbles
-FRB: Bros
-Backslider: Better Late than Pregnant


So there you have it! Detrails are of course fuzzy due to copious amounts of beer, but you can be sure you missed an epic weekend of debauchery.

Don't forget that AGM is this upcoming weekend! See bostonhash.com or our very own twitter feed @BostonHash for detrails.
Angry Birds Hash (over 6 years ago)
Hello Wankers, Discussions were had at last night's trail re: what a "Hash Trash" is? That made me realize that no one has written one up in a while. I will try and attempt one, and will allow myself to be corrected by the current Scribe if he did in fact take notes.

Disclaimer: No notes were actually taken, all is from memory or fabricated.

Trail: the Angry Birds Hash 8/3/11
Hares: Twat My Mom & Clit Notes
Bag Car: Willy Wonka and the Back Door Factory
 

The Pack: Dirty Latte Sanchez, Sketchy Ho, The Butler Hit It, Yankee Pay $5 More, Jello Wrecked 'Em, CPA, The 2nd Cumming, Spoonful of Semen, Peppermint Pussy, Bend Over Mommy, Goat Throat, Frontrunning Bork Bork Bork, +2 Coonass, Yellow Dick Gnome, Stick It to the Bros, X Marks My Twat, Dribbles, Cherry Poppin' Paddy, Nice Tits, Mexican Humping Queen, Vagaterian, Mangina, Oink Oink Ohh!, Goes Down on Buoys,and more that I cannot recall. Just Prezel, Just Mike, Just Max, Just Dave, Just Many Others... (see Disclaimer above, or hurry up and get named)

Visitors: Pork Boy from Baltimore; Just Baker from somewhere; female hasher from Burlington; male hasher from Chicago; and others. (see Disclaimer above)

11 Virgins: one wore a boa, one was a very tall slender woman, many looked like angry birds

Chalk Talk: I, Nice Tits, tried to get everyone assembled and explained marks to our 11 virgins, who promptly forgot them within 5 minutes. Introductions were made, virgins were sized up by the rest of us, and then we all sang about Father Abraham before heading out.

Trail: 
If you want to make birds (or hashers dressed like birds) angry, all you have to do is circle jerk them around the Longwood Medical area ending with a very long drawn out hill. The 1st part ended up having an interesting cross of the J-Way that almost decreased pack size, but luckily only ended up with many horns being honked and no fatalities. 1st BC was outside the Bird Sanctuary in Brookline after we ran along wooden boardwalks; 2nd was in between parking garages at Beth Israel hospital. This was where Just Max decided to shimmy down a rusty pole to reach the pack when he was mistakenly 2 floors above while Buoys yelled encouragement. We finally made our way around the projects and through a park (at this point it was dark and many people fell) and up Mission Hill where we ended in an even darker parking lot

Circle: Mommy took over RA, while I (T*ts) went back to collecting your $$$

Virgins: Too many to count, were demented in quiz show style with 3 questions being asked by Yellow. Only 2 virgins knew that we were there to drink Beer... bad sponsors, bad!

Visitors: listed somewhere above sang a short non-verse song. Boo.

Accusations

  • Just Baker tried to give a false name, so he was made to drink along with
  • Paddy (a reformed self-namer)
  • Blood on trail - at least Peppermint and CPA went down, cannot recall the rest as I did not push them
  • Yankee had to drink for getting so lost that he ended up at Circle 2/3 of the way through
Best Dressed: Nominations were made, and the winners included Oink Oink for her amazingly home knit blue angry bird hat and throw balls. She swears she is not a spinster and "her friend" made them. Bork Bork Bork won for dressing like a Blue Man Group reject, or at least one who was colored blind, in a full green body suit covering his face and hands. He somehow still managed to drink his down down beer in this. What a talented Swede!

Announcements:
  • 2 very long trails are coming up: Ball Buster's Labored Day Run on Saturday 9/3 and the 3rd Annual Pearl Necklace (East Side!) on 10/15. Both promise 13+ miles, have rego beforehand and a cap in the number that can be accommodated. Contact +2 for info on the 9/3 Ball Buster version, and either Nice T*ts or Anal Beads for the Pearl Necklace on 10/15. There are rumors that IEC may be helping to hare the later.
  • If you like free beer, come to the Summer BBQ. 1230 HST on 8/13, there will be a short trail and free food. Check the list for more emails re: start location
That pretty much ends what I can remember or make up. Oh, we ate wraps and pizza and there was an on-after at The Crossing.

Thanks to Twat and Clit Notes for setting this trail, and Willy for getting all our sh*t to the end!

-T*ts (1/2 RA, Scribe, and Hash Cash for this trail)



BOM Says Other things which should be included in this Hash Trash:
  • Just Max For sliding down said aforementioned Pole has now been named:Tetnus in my Rectus.
  • Also Named was Just Mike. For a story about being an army helicopter pilot and falling asleep at the helm along with his co-pilot he iis now know as: Black Cock Down.
  • Please address your Hash brothers accordingly from now on...-on
-BOM

Hot Tub Redneck Hash (almost 7 years ago)
The Pack: around 40-45 - I dunno... the 2nd cumming has attendance, ask him.
Prelube: Banshee / Dorchester JFK T-Stop
Chalk-Talk & RA: Tw*t My Mom

Hares: Boston Strangler and Accidentally An*l.

So this is basically what happened if you were too lazy / hungover to cum last Wednesday: So we had about 6 Virgins, but I got 3 names I wrote down - Jason, Duong (The Duong-er), James and Paul. OK, so that's 4.
The Virgins were brought into chalk-talk and we sang "Hey, My Name is Joe" for warm-up and off we went.

Trail was actually pretty well marked, and I would say with the penmanship of a writing teacher. That was probably the high point of your trail, Strangler. Good penmanship with the chalk. Actually this trail rocked out with its c*ck out, so if you missed this one that's your loss. Wankers. We went through, around, over and below various spots in Dorchester to wind up at our first beer-check, Malibu Beach - around 2 miles or so 'til the first BC. We drank cheap beer and it was good.

Trail then went another mile or more and the Boston Strangler took us to a nice little playground where little Buoys / errr... boys like to play. We know how your mind works there, Strangler, lucky for all the little buoys out there we were able to chase you down pretty quickly. There was more beer, and life was good. I believe we were at Downer's Avenue playground, or so my sketchy writing says...

The On-In was at Boston Strangler's House in Dorchester, close to Savin Hill. The REAL On-In was his hot-tub where after circle about a dozen naked hashers sat in the tub, staring at their toes with their hands neatly folded. Yeah, right. Anyway, I digress.

Comments on trail included: "Get 'er Done" and "My Mustache is gonna get gray" as well as "I wasn't supposed to be within 15 feet of a playground"

The Hares sang "Hog Calling Time in Nebraska" - which nobody in the entire hash seems to know more than 3 or 4 verses to so it was a short song.
The Virgins were demented, now they are Just Paul, Just Jason, Just James and Just DUONG (still think the Duonger is a good name) and maybe I heard Just Sharma.

FRB was Stick it to the Bros, FBI was Pubic Service Announcement, DFL was Plus Two Coonass and 2nd Cumming.  Backsliders claimed to be F*cked by Job and Whiskey D*ck... well, that's what I wrote.  Implant from the New Orleans Voo-Doo Hash are Like a Virgin.

Tallest and Shortest Drank: 2nd cumming and Goes Down on Buoys. They held hands, the pack sang, it was cute. Apparently there was Ice Cream on trail by the Savin Hill T-Stop near Strangler's place, I thought the chalk mark was mocking us. Peppermint P*ssy and possibly Miami Sl*t Machine partook. Possibly not. Willie Wonka may have partook of said cream. Vagitarian too.

Oh, DRIPPY SPIGOT was on trail! He had lots of iced cream. We miss you Drippy, you big backslider.

Best Redneck was easily Oink, Oink, OOoooohhhh. Drippy, Tw*t My Mom, JC Whore and An*l were runners' up.

Naming O' The Evening: Just Kyle. One of the many brothers, who's been hashing for about a year and a half. Kyle, what the f*ck haven't you been doing?  Just Kyle pissed on his father one evening while drunk... but apparently stories having to do with this great feat didn't get him his proper name. He was not named Princess Choad, but will now forever be known as "Family Business". Go figure.

We Swang Low, made announcements about NURD and Pittsburgh. Then we ate pretty damn good redneck food, and somehow about 1/4 of the pack got into the hottub nekkid. Too bad you weren't there.

Goes Down on Buoys



Just Kyle was named accidental golden shower. Family business was rejected. There you have it. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Too bad this story wasn't good.