Missed a hash? Catch up on all the trash here...
|A Magical Butter-Wiki Codeshare
(about 1 year ago)
What: A Magic Buttler Wiki Joint
Where: Mex Taco/Eddie C’s
Fellowship of the Cockring, Bring Out the Gimp, Show Me the Penis, Goes Down on Bouys, Certified Poop Accuntant, Dry Hose, O’Bon’r, Just Cylde, Anal Apologist, Motherload, Easy as 123, Orgaism Falmon, Sketchy Ho, Pop Cum Ear I’m Enfected, a virgin, others I probably forgot.
[Scribed by O’Bone’r]
[Edited by Wiki]
It’s Magical: A Buttler Wiki Joint Adventure
Oh was this Magical. Unicorns. Nice weather. But always be wary of a Wiki trail. This is a man that has his own mark for being lost. True to Wiki form start was confusing. First having to go ALL THE WAY TO MAVERICK! BLUE LINE! And even then once we got there we had to go ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE STREET to another bar because there were too many “families” in the first one. At the second bar, two of our valiant hashers were accosted by a local and were given his political views. Pre-lube was had, hares were gay, and we were off to chalk talk.
Chalk talk: ShowMe was the RA and she instructed us on a few new marks to be on the look out for. Some weird one that I can’t remember and a Map Check. The map check was met with a groan and so much complaining that most of pack wanted to walk away. Once the rioting settled, Buoys led the group in a warm-up of “Hi my name is Joe” and pack was away.
Pack ran around, found some marks, solved some checks, so typical hash stuff. I’d like to be more specific here but it’s Eastie and I have no idea where I was. There was supposed to be a check back up the side of the bikepath by miscommunication by the hares caused trail to split and be marked seperately from there to the Turkey/Eagle split. There was a lovely park by the water and we went through a pier where there was a turkey/ eagle split. Turkeys Forever. The eagles were treated to a mark, then a shots near, then another mark, then a shots really near, then another mark and a shots really very near, then, finially, at the end of the peir, shots. Pack seemed generally disgusted by the concocktion, but I quiet enjoy it; it was moxie and rum, though I will say it’s much better on the rocks...anyway... After the pier, we stumbled onto Beer Check #1
BC#1 was in a park! Swings were swung on and the beer was good. It was a lovely day. We hung around and were reunited with our walkers. The hares leisurely took off (and stole CPA and some pita bread) We watched them walk in the distance and then took off ourselves.
We headed in the direction of the airport and eventually came upon the Map Check. The maps were left for us by the hares and were 8 pages of color pictures and directions to make it through the airport to the C terminal Chapel. Noting the lack of spelling mistakes, I assumed that Buttler must have made the maps. Following the map into the parking garage we made our way through stairs, moving walkways, elevators, a fascinating look at mental illness (in the airport, really?) all the way to the Chapel. CPA was waiting for us with bread and wine.
Our map then directed us to take the FREE Silver line to South Station, switch to the Red to Davis. Thankfully we had everyone with us and began the long trek in a BUS on a beautiful day. We made it to the Red line inbound and a wild Luva appeared with shots! We drank a bunch of them and rage trained back to Davis. Super sercret guest hare Shart of Darkness laid trail from Davis to the beer check on the bike path. We eventually made it to an uneventful BC#2 and then back to Buttler’s house for On-In.
Circle: Down Downs were had to the hares. Wiki was called in for everything. Django drank all of our beer. Food was good.
Walkers trail: I heard it sucked and they had to Uber. There were two basic miscommunications, and questionable reading of txts.
That’s it! See you soon Sunday trails!
|PooF "Returns" (A Boston marathon pre-lube trail)
(about 1 year ago)
What: PooF trail #eighty something
Where: A dirt road in a park in Rhode Island
Hare: O’Boner (#50?)
Bleeps (Founder), Nips (Founder), Counterfeit Dick (#6), The Butler Hit It (#9), Bring Out the Gimp (#12), Wikipedophilia (#42), Too Short To Tuck (#48?), Easy as 123, No Man on the Moon
Essentially walking trail:
With the long winter recess the 2pm sharp part of hares away as quietly ignored as the hare strolled off at a leisurely pace at or around 2:15, and we finished our start beers and walked after her a few minutes later. Trail followed the path along the stream until it got to a check, which Counterfeit and I decided to scout up the hill (hash runs uphill), though trail was called straight down the path. We paralleled the trail for a while, running through the underbrush, but still being outpaced by those walking on the trail so we give up the high land and rejoined pack for a check at the whichy-way, and, after scouting wrong again, rejoined them a second time as they stuck to the low ground along the river. We hadn’t started running yet, and were walking causally to a fork where the trail cross the longest actual hiking trail in rhode island - the north south trail - and we followed that to a check at a footbridge over a tributary stream to the main body of water we were running along. Having just hit our stride, the hare thought the bridge would be a good break and turn us finally uphill and upstream to a surprisingly close beer cheek.
Nothing of note happened at the beer check; I learned that it’s acceptable to pee near a river, but not in it? The morality of that judgement illuded me. Remembering that PooF has running beer checks we finished our beers and ran off into a thicket of rhodedendrons.
Running along a river and being scared:
After dodging through a rather thick thicket of rhodeys we emerged back on the main trail running along the river, and finally were able to get our legs churring and keep a respectable running pace. Well, it wasn’t really running, it was a combination of high stepping and leaping from boulder to boulder along the trail, all the while dodging over millions of little rivulets which crossed the trail every 10 yards or so. We had been doing this for a while when we go to a check that had a market false into a raging river and then a song check on a rock. Sensing that pack could use a break, Counterfiet launched into a song about the perils of being a jelly fish on a rock. It was an apt metaphor for something, but I really don’t care what. Trail from there continued on and eventually crossed the river on a bridge populated by local high schoolers who I think were out taking selfies? It was a confusing time for all involved. There was a check on the other side of the bridge that did not asset in lessening the confusion. The FRBs - Counterfiet, Easy, No Man, Butler and I, were sufficiently confused that we were running around it litteral half circles (because of the river) until the walkers caught up and pointed “Um, guys, there are marks right down there.” Sufficiently embarrassed we took off in the indicated direction until we got to a dirt road. I checked right and saw nothing, then checked left and, taking Easy and No Man with me, ran a very jog up a hill, then a right turn back into the woods to find easy looking quizikaly at a mark that was clearly some form of a check back 8. No one else had followed so we ran back and turned into the woods, not catching up with pack until we were almost at the second beer check. Oh, we ran past a pair of dudes out on a camp out weekend in the Rhode Island woods - they were cooking some form of meat and drinking non-shitty beers as we ran past.
Beer Check the Second:
It was a beer check; we drank.
A merciful trail down hill.
I know it sounds too good to be true, but the entire last leg of trail was down hill, either on switch-backing trails or straight through the woods. I was following the surprisingly lithe and limber form of Gimp bounding, heedless of his name, through the woods. There was a group hug that I ran past and one time I tried to jump off a rock with the support of a tree, but the tree snapped and in a very inelegant way, we - it and I - kind of fell haphazardly to the ground. Luckily no one saw us. Trail eventually went back out to the road, and I started an open-legged sprint to the cars, but saw a check and veered hard back into the woods. I found no more marks, but I did run into Easy and No Man and the three of us walked back to the cars, essentially being DFLs.
Was held by the river. The hare was called in and drank for responding to a facebook post suggesting a restart of this quasi-retired kennel. That didn’t actually happen, but this is a post-fact world, and being scribe has some powers. She then sang a surprisingly good song which I liked but didn’t know. FRBs were called in - Counterfiet and Nips - and they drank, then Easy and No Man were called in for DFLing and Counterfiet came back for having gone to 60 (i think) of these trails. I don’t remember that many other accusations, though I tried to make some and ended up drinking for illegal accusations?
That was it.
On - one down, eight to go - On
|An easy orgasm trail trash
(about 1 year ago)
What: An easy orgasm trail
Where: The Field, Central
When: Sunday 3/5
Hares: Easy as 123, Orgasm Falmon
Bag Car: Spunk in the Trunk
Motherload, Wikipedophilia, Bottom Wrangler, Can’t Eat Pussy, Fellowship of the Cockring, Clit notes, Just Alec, Virgin Andrew, Virgin Hole in Her Pants, Anal Apologist (I think?), Shektchy Ho, E=ImADocuhe, The Butler Hit It, O’Boner, Not Dead Yet, Dribbles, Goes Down on Bouys, Shits and Ladders, probably others.
Start: Was at the field, which is a great little bar in central and was empty when we arrived and was empty again when we left. It warrents a mention in this because of how they serve tea; the tea pot is ontop of the cup! It looks really cool and is something I need to find. Multiple people were sipping their beers complaining of hang overs, and, lucky for them, one of the tenants of the hash is to cure hangovers!
Chalk talk- Was held in the sunny parking lot, because it was cold. I forgot to go over pack marks, but we all got lost enough it didn’t really matter.
Much to our surprise, the hares confused the host kennel as “zig zag” not boston, as we spent about half the time dodging from one side of the street to the other. Secondarily, the sun, which was blindingly bright but bitterly cold, made seeing marks relatively hard, and as a result on more than one occasion we overran checks and called back to last mark before finding the check and scouting trail. There was a song check in front of the old River Gods, and we sang one in honor of that great bar. Trail continued to meadaner through Cambridgeport, zigging and zagging until we eventually got to the Beer Check at Magazine beach.
Beer check (surprisingly good beer):
Left overs from previous hashes were pooled into a single cooler of surprisingly good, and varried beer. There was high life, pbr and bud heavy, but also stouts, alcoholic root beer and maybe even a wine cooler or two. The lack of marks were forgiven of the hares, and we happily drank in the sun as they ran away.
Trail Windtunnels, but not actual tunnels:
Leaving the beer check Not Dead Yet scouted over the BU bridge, but didn’t find anything; trail continued along memorial drive past goose shit park and turn left behind the hyatt. Your humble scribe was, in the most brilliant mindset and was following a virgin who was scouting and who over ran a check by Washington park. This check confused the bejesuss out of every body and each direction was scouted multiple times, with most of the lemmings and wandering slowly down the road towards the MIT track. Trail, however, turned right towards a tit check and a run behind the MIT dorms. After a shot check, which was surpisingly tasty (described, by the hares, as “unicorn piss”), trail turned out to memorial drive a block before the bridge, then turning back into the MIT campous for a set of song checks (3 in a row), and, much to the packs disapointment, did not turn into the warm MIT tunnel system. Instead running more zigzags along Memorial drive before turning left again towards Kendal, to the second beer check.
Beer Check “Enjoy yourselves”
By the time we got to the beer check, after 3 checks that really confused pack, we were quiet severly split up, so Fellowship went back to rescue people - the faulty check was the last one along memorial drive, where some zenning hashers had approached the check no-no (coming in the out direction), so we never scouted that direction, and instead searched in ever widening circles towards the longfellow...anyway, eventually all were reunited and the hares dashed off for what they promised would be a “short last leg.”
Trail In the Wind:
I don’t know if it was the orientation of the building in Kendel or what, but there was a lot of wind on this leg, and since everyone “could guess” where we were headed, pack (or parts of pack) moved at a pretty good clip. There was a Turkey/Eagle split by a fence, with the Eagles hopping it and the Turkeys running around the block, and even though I called out “Turkey’s together, Turkey’s forever” it seems as though most people, including one of the virgins, took the eagle. This virgin is getting called out because the fence tore into her pants and ripped out her underwear. Remember that later for namings...a quick detour through east cambridge and we were running uphill to ONIN at Courtside.
The hares were brought in and comments were made; mainly about not being able to see marks, and trail zig-zagging at a non-zig-zag hash. It was the opinion of pack that they should’ve used more flour or chalk, and we made them aware of this. I don’t recall what they sung, maybe something about the size of their nipples and their necrophilac powers of their asses? Who knows. We then called in the virgins, and Spunk masterfully demented them; one was groomed and the other got dangerously close to making out with Goat, they’re horrible a math, but we taught them how to do down-downs and they are now Just whatever their names are at the top. That when opened circle up to accusations. The virgin (now just) was accused of blood on trail, so everyone who got injured drank. I was accused of multiple things, the most agrejous being that I didn’t inform my virgin not to wear new shoes, so I had to drink from my decidedly not new shoes. Analveresies were called in, 2 years, 7 year, 14 years, and these wonderful hashers were instructed to get a life. Speaking of getting a life, Butler and I were accused of hashing three days in a row. Around this time the sweet, sweet, smell of greesey cheese product ontop of editble cardboard could be detected by our olfactory senses so we quickly moved onto announcments, see blow; then we swang on.
On - all in all, a plain easy orgasm - On
Wednesday (3/8): Zig-Zag hash presents: Stroller hash for hashers in training! Foamy’s trying to start a family/kid friend hash for hashers who have reproduced! Start is at Friendly Toast in Kendel at 7pm.
Friday (3/10) - Pink Taco Trotters - Polar Whoretex Birthday trail. Start is Old Sullys in Charletown, $5...open to “people with vaginas or men who like sucking cocks on the reg” (or anyone with a sack-car pass).
Saturday (3/11): Boston Full Moon H3 - Hared by Amelia Airfart, start is in or near Forest Hills, $5, cranium cover, rage.
Sunday (3/12): Day-light raging time trail, start isn’t announced, but the website says “a brewery with brunch?”
Thrusday (3/16) - Krusty’s 12 year hashaversary Beer Mile! Details TBD, but save your sick days!
SIGN UP FOR MARATHON if you haven’t already:
If you have signed up for marathon but haven’t contacted Douche or Cum Ear about crash space do so now!
|Last Official Wednesday Trail of the Year!
(over 1 year ago)
Last Official Wednesday Trail of the Year!
Hares: Shits and Ladders and LuvaLamp
Bag Car: A limping Butler
Pack: Wiki, Blackie, CEP, Easy as 123, Sex the Final Frontier, Bonor Donor, Just Ben, Just Roberto, Just Linda?, Just Andy, female just whose name I forget, O Bonor, Virgin we found outside prelube, transplant from Halve Mein, Dribbles, Clit Notes, Sloppy Thirds, Sloppy's just, more I forget
Hashers gathered on a lovely Wednesday evening at 21st amendment for the last “official” Wednesday trail of the year before we lose our excuse to get drunk mid-week. Prelube was a bit crowded and dark but we drank beers and made merry anyway. As we were loading our bags into bag car we found a runner on the street who was convinced to join us for the evening. Blackie and CEP showed our new Virgin friend the marks at chalk talk and we all ran off into the hills of Beacon Hill.
Trail went down the hill to the Bowdoin T stop. I am pretty sure I missed a group hug before it then weaved through back alleys and pathways to the Garden. We followed marks around the back of the Garden, came across some drugged up people standing on a tit check, and followed the narrow sneaky path under a bridge to the locks. A BN on our way into the dog park on the other side inspired speed in Bonor Donor who proclaimed his excitement over being towards the front of pack!
We drank Harpoon UFO pumpkin and PBR under a tree in the park. It was like a cute first date! Eventually we ran off under the Charlestown bridge towards the Coast Guard ship yard and into Charlestown. We briefly lost trail before someone found it again and led us up the hill to the big pointy phallic object someone built up there. I guess tourists call it Bunker Hill Monument but why do those things always look like a scary Penis? Washington monument has the same issue. I followed marks down the hill and through some driveways and alleys. Much of pack seemed to zen a bit. Eventually we found a BN at the bottom of some stairs leading up to a playground. As I opened my beer someone (sorry I was drunk so I forget who) came up to me and said why are there children on the swings at night?! I informed this distressed hasher that those were not children. They were hashers having a lovely evening ride on the swings. We drank our beers, the hares left, and after an appropriate amount of time we followed.
We ran down a big hill to some projects and up some stairs into one of the complexes. By we I mean trail did that and some people followed it. I stayed outside on the lawn and tried to figure out where trail exited the building to avoid the chance of neighborhood altercations. I found some drinking underage miscreants who informed me the people went that way. They were wrong so it took me a bit to find people again but after winding through a few more blocks I found pack at a hash sitapeed. They don’t feel nearly as easy when all of pack is at least 3 beers in but we didn’t all fall over and ran on. Before I knew it I was running up to Old Sully’s. ON-IN!
We piled into the back room and beer arrived. Eventually circle started. We sang to our hares, accused them of getting Wiki lost, finding too many hills, not enough projects, etc. They drank for their sins. Blacky and Easy were FRB and FBI. Someone who was not Butler was DFL. We welcomed our transplant to Boston and he sang to us about his time in cell block 4. The virgin was called in and congratulated / told he was stupid for staying with us all the way to the end. We asked him if he thought he was good at math. As he struggled to figure out the square root of 69 Dribbles told me about how she questions our American math education because people seem to struggle so much with that question. The Virgin somehow survived having Wiki as a sponsor, did his down-down and arose a virgin no more. Then I missed something and somehow we were singing S&M man. More stuff might have happened but I tune out as soon as we get to long songs in circle. Eventually we swang low and ate delicious BBQ roast beef sandwiches!
If you missed it you missed a fun trail!
AGM!!!! is October 16th at 1pm, Prelube is Coppersmiths in South Boston
(over 1 year ago)
What: Ahhhnold Hash
Where: The Dogwood
Who: Sex: The Final Frontier, Abraclamidia, Just Mo
Vaginal Discharge (??), Visitor from Porland, World Wide Whore, Boner Doner, Black Cock Down, Can’t Eat Pussy, Clits and Chips, Wikiepdophilia, Bend Over Mommy, Glutneless Maxiumus, Blowbot, Visitor from H5, More? Probably?
Circle was infront of an unused (or closed) garage. The only new check was an “Ahhnold” check where you have to take off your shirt and flex.
Trail Part Conan:
From the start trail went, rather predicitably given the name, through Forest Hills station into the Ahhnold Ahhbouritum, though the marks leading into the park were hard to find (it was dark, not all of pack had cranium lamps). Once we got into the park there was a bery well marked trail along the dirt road to a shot check (weak tea?) about 100 yards in. Trail continued across the road where CEP and I were approached by a rather serious looking man asking if we had seen any goats. Taken aback, we asked him to confirm and he said that a pair of goats which had been hired to trim the grass had been attacked by dogs. We said that we were unaware of such activities as we were but hashers, on a scavenger hunt for beer. He seemed intreguided by this, so we told to him to look up the website and then ran on. We found a song check at the bottom of a hill and people were coming back from scouting out two and outs on the flats, and no one had checked up hill. A bit dismayed I started walking up the side incline and call out one, two, then finally ONON. There was an Arnold check at the top of the hill and I flexed for pack as they then continued to scout down hill and into the flats. Looking at the grassy slope to my left which no one had gone up, I decided to scout up hill and was rewarded with sporatic marks on tree trunks.
NOTE TO HARES: If you are laying trail in shiggy (espesically not on paths), mark on tree trunks!
Following these marks slowly as to allow pack to catch up we eventually got to a check at the top of the hill. Again pack scouted down hill and again I laughed at them and scouted up hill (which ended up being not marked, but there were marks around the crest of the hill to the right) where trail hit a dick check and then turned actually down hill. It was slow going as the mist had set in and it was a cool other woodly run through scattered trees with head lamps swinging too and fro. At the base of the hill we found another shot check and trail then went straight down the road past a BKN (beer kinda near?) and a BRN (beer really near) before eventually getting to the BC at the enterance to the park.
Beer check Chopper:
Was a beer check. We waited for pack to catch up - some people had gotten pretty lost and we were dropping pins to follow. Eventually the hares left, and I think Mommy joined us, and we talked about that one time the Pabst Brewing Company won a Blue Ribbon.
Trail Who’s Your Daddy:
Trail left the park and pack initially scouted rightish since that was the direction to the T. However, that was wrong. There was a decitful on-two next to a BVC which sent pack scurrying across the Jamacia Way. I turned left, not wanting to re-cross the road and ran to the rotarty where I found an on two and a marked false, which I traced back to a song check in the middle of the rotarty. I then ran the perimiter of the rotarty and found another song check, and two leading down a dead end. At about this time, pack caught up with me and trail continued along the Jamaca way towards that pond at the bottom of mission hill. There was a very confusing disaperance of marks (until we realized we had run past a hash sitapeed by the lake), and we eventually found trail running again along the shores of the lake to when it turned back into the park and we found the hares sitting, surronded by beer, in a depression in the landscape.
Beer check Rubber Buddy Fuddy Bumpers-
Was a beer check which had beer.
Trail You’re on ugly mother-mother:
Heady with thoughts of beer, pack raced out of the beer check and ran the wrong way. We double pack and eventually found marks leading back towards the not-really-a-hash-sit-a-pead check only to find it replaced with a true trail arrow pointing into JP. This, at last, made us happy, since the Orange line was roughly that way. We ran a few blocks then got to a main road at which we turned right. Again, this was the wrong direction, as there was a check on the other side of the street and trail went left; past a chruch with it’s requisit song check to, finally a BN and ONIN at Cornwall’s.
(Note: At some point someone washed out the ONIN mark?)
We waited a while for bag car to return, but there was beer to keep up sediated. Eventually bag car showed up and we got bags, and started circle.
The hares were called in and accused of being zey shitty hares ya. It was widely accepted that RAs with fake Austrian accents, while sounding a bit off, was diffinetly less antagonistic than southie accents. More on the RAs later. The hares had nothing to say for themselves, so we told them to use more flour and chalk. At this little melody the patrons of the bar turned to regard us. Next the RAs called in visitors and the girl from Portland (who was also at Indapanties day and bemoaned the lack of 2nd in a dress), sang us an amazing version of “take me out to the ball game” but it was about getting black out drunk and hooking up with someone who’s name you don’t know. We all cheered. We then called in FRBs/FBIs (Mommy and Blackie) and DFL (Clits and Chips), and they drank. I accused Cougar of being a racist (he ran a 100 miler) and he drank; then he accused me of wearing new shoes, so i drank of them. Side note: I’m wearing them at work as I type this. The hares tried to accuse pack of not finding a third shot check, but we called the hares in for laying a shitty trail that didn’t lead us to said shot check. There were more accusations but we eventually moved onto announcements (see below) and then we swang low.
ON - I’ll be back - ON
10/14: Pre-AGM Pub crawl: Probably? Starting maybe at Parker house? I think Disco’s leading it? Udder drunk txted me, or something.
10/15: AGM -=> TOP RAGE: Do you feel the need, the need to RAGE? Come rage with us in your best Top Gun attire (or any 1980’s Tom Cruise movie). The start will be 1pm (ish), the location will be Boston. There will be long drawn out games of homoerotic beach volley ball, and pie.
November: Saddie Hawkins! Talk to Clit notes if you want to help plan.
Feburary: Moon Away
March: Burlington Mardigras
April: BOSTON MARATHON